My Top

A little rewards - countryside scenery somewhere in Transylvania region, Romania
So I've been craving to travel again after last year's great memory in Italy. I have had the thought of traveling in my mind but I wasn't really serious enough to jot down any plan, let the idea fly out free from my subconscious. After all, there's nothing to make notes about since I didn't even know where to go and lazy enough to think about the budget I shall consume. Yes, when it comes to money matters the brain will become lazy to distract the mind from thinking about it. At least me, a broke student. Moreover, easyjet has left me with less option as to where I'm able to go after they stopped their service from Amman to Gatwick. Usually that would be the most convenient option for me since my Malaysian passport would allow me to travel without visa to Shengen countries and from there I could fly low cost or by train to anywhere in Europe, where my passport's permitted.

Six-hour train ride from Cluj Napoca to Brasov, Romania

Actually I have some goals to achieve during my travel this time. My aim was to travel alone, to travel for a period of one month, to try couchsurfing, to experience wwoofing, to focus more on nature and avoid cities, to travel like a real backpacker as they claimed and most importantly to clear my mind, gain some perspectives about my personal life. And stuff. Of course, I, too miss the adrenaline, the troubles and the uncomfortable feelings from traveling. For instance, missing my bed, my daily schedules, the usual environment & the usual people. But that hardly describes the uncomfortable feelings. Sometimes situations could turn out ugly and surely inconvenient. I'm also a little bit proud when I got exhausted by the real thing because most times I can get tired from nothing!

Nature - shrubs and vines Shkoder, Albania

"...that one certain person you think you can't conceive your life without them"

Quite recently, I kept reminiscing about relationships. Relationship with my mother, father, siblings and family in general. It has been great but honestly, not the best. At the same time, old memories haunting my blues. It's about That One Person (TOP) in high school. It was sweet old memories that I shall not forget. I felt appreciated, loved & cherished then. I hope it was mutual, that top should feel the same. It's good to treasure sometimes though they say 'let bygones be gone'. Sure, years it has been.

How memories have left us, Romania

"It was sweet old memories that I shall not forget"

While memories stay sweet, I've moved on and life goes on. I think I've fallen into another top. Top is just that one certain person you think you can't conceive your life without them. You ought to think that your top is just perfect in every inches of dimensions. All the beautiful words top has mentioned would never doubted you to believe even if it was a lie. That is what they call 'love', the most delusional thing of all. It is good if two persons mutually deluded. Great even. Otherwise, melancholy.

What is life - in front of Sapphire, 4Levent, Istanbul

I believe life is just a cycle that we keep rotating and repeating the same. But with every rotation we made, we change, mature and hopefully become wiser. One of other things I want to achieve with this travel is to justify what is the truth of my feelings to top. And I think, I have figured it out though I'm still not sure what is my next step I should and would take. Those two words are very different. One comes from the brain, other comes from the heart. 

Sincerely topless,
Istanbul, Monday Evening Sep 15, 2014 


  1. cey cey this..keep writing!

    1. hu hu hu...thanks for the support! :D


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